No Impact reentry and the lie of stuff

One thing Michelle and I really looked forward to as the No Impact year of environmental living came to an end was going to the movies. I'm not even a hundred percent sure why we cut out movies. Partly because we consumed them like, well, consumers. Partly because I was more interested in forms of entertainment that builds community (we're talking lots of charades, baby). Partly because Judith Levine, author of Not Buying It, had cut out movies. Call it one-up-manship among eco-martyrs.

Anyway, the day No Impact ended, Michelle and I bolted out to see Margo at the Wedding. The fact that we were seeing a movie was such a big deal in the narrative of No Impact that the documentary film makers even filmed us going to the cinema. A year of no movies. We were finally free. This was going to be great, right?

So guess what happened?

We were kind of bored.

The thing is, movies are okay, but honestly, it turned out we weren't missing much. Plus Michelle went to look around Barneys and came out not even wanting to buy anything. Plus, we've both ended up walking out of other movies.

You know what it is? We never missed movies, per se. We never missed stuff. But there was still some kind of pull, and here's what it was: wanting to have what other people around us had, wanting to do what they did, wanting to be where they were. In other words, it was, more or less, social anxiety.

If we get to do the things that other people do and have the things that other people have, that means we're as loveable as everyone else. If we go the places they go, then we're as cool and, therefore, again, loveable. Consumption has become a surrogate for being loved.

Instead of going and spending time with people we buy things or show up places like movies because the culture has sold us a bill of goods that says that this is what will make people love us.

How sad. So many of us are a bit lonely and need more human contact. We think the way to get it is to buy things. But really, if we want to be loved, what we we need is living rooms full of people instead of closets full of stuff. We need community. Isn't that an important point? We could be happy without the stuff and without wrecking the planet. We just need to hang out more.

PS More on reentry to come.

Comments

[Kathryn]

Wanting to have what those around you have, and wanting to do what those around you do is part of the human condition, not some evil invention of Western consumer societies. Even in societies with much simpler material lives, people create and decorate those simple possession in ways that identify them as part of a community. When you understand this deeply human motivation, you realize that the creation of new kinds of communities requires more than just "hanging out."

[jewishfarmer]

Our revelation about the limits of movies came when we had kids - here we were, getting a few precious moments to be alone together and we were going to do what...sit in a darkened room staring at a screen and not talking to one another?!?!? Nope.

Sharon

[Sunshine]

Really nice post. I, too, am not a big movie goer, mainly because of the cost. However, I do enjoy a good movie every once in a while and will occasionally go to a second-run theater.

I also find myself, sometime in the middle of watching somethin, suddenly asking myself why I am watching other people living their lives (in the case of reality TV) (matter of fact, I will say this out loud and then abruptly turn off the TV) or wondering why I am wasting my time with garbage (in the case of a crappy movie). It is only when a program or a movie is really good that I feel rewarded and not let down/bored.

[Greenpa]

We rarely "go to the movies" - it's 20 miles to the nearest theater. But we DO watch DVDs at home- with the Smidgen. I know, some early childhood experts are saying "no video" for any children under 3; or so (Smidge is 2.8). But. I'm not so sure. Particularly since Smidgen plays and "reads" and pretends very freely when that's what's appropriate.

This really is a shared experience for us. Smidgen loves Fred and Ginger, and Ella of Frell. And a couple days ago, as she was happily playing quite by herself, she came over carefully holding a random scrap of paper and informed me "This is my prototype. That means it's the first and only one. Uh huh." And walked back to her play.

That's an exact quote. I was pretty flabbergasted, even being used to her unusual familiarity with words. "Meet the Robinsons".

Movies also provide a big chunk of common experience for us all, and for kids. If you're the only kid in the room who has no idea who Hook is- it just makes you that much weirder.

They can be a sharing thing- that's what we shoot for. And of course, some movies are not appropriate for kids- that's why we watch together.

[Missy]

We limited ourselves to a movie night once a month. We rent a movie from the library. If we don't like it we turn it off-we can stop it at any point and yap. We haven't wasted any money on it-90% of the time we don't rent a movie at all.

[Susan Och]

Now this is interesting. Is there anything about reclaiming your consumer role that has been as good as anticipated?

I think the allure of the consumer experience is larger than your "surrogate for being loved" theory, but you're getting closer.

Last summer was a very good one for wild berries around here. We knew it, and so did a lot of people and animals. On Sunday, when my husband and I were driving from one berry place to another (and scouting out potential ice-fishing or mushrooming sites on the way), I realized that what we were doing was very much like shopping, only without the money. Cataloging enormous bits of information and being able to connect them ("this patch always ripens the week after the star thistle blooms...") is what our brains were made for. In times of feast and famine, these skills are what makes a survivor. In a time of seemingly unending feast, we echo our digestive systems and lay down layers of excess for the famine that never comes.

Not that much modern stuff would be useful in the event of the actual famine. We are just keeping our hunting and gathering skills sharp, in case we need them. Managing human interaction is also a survival skill, so having seen a movie might turn out to be useful someday, as well.

Anthropologists write about this, trying to understand our relationship to goods and how superconsumerism works. They don't seem to publish much on the internet, but a good university library will have many resources like this.

[Anne]

Movies are a big part of my social group. One couple throws a pot-luck once a month and we cram into their livingroom to watch something they've picked out and chat about it later. I think for us the reason it becomes a community thing is there is this sense of going out on a limb to enter someone else's experience. You don't pick and choose which months to go to based on the movie, you go because it's your friends and you're hanging out.

On another movie topic, I've seen two movies recently that are really getting undeserved bad reviews. "August Rush" and "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium" were delightful movies about what connects people and making your own magic. I don't know if the reviewers don't want to be bothered with people or love or being magic or what, but I loved these films and they were great sources of conversation with the folks I saw them with.

[alanna randall]

Go see What Would Jesus Buy? It is a great film and worth supporting! It is very entertaining, too!

[asal]

hey greenpa - i wouldn't worry too much about the little one feeling "weird". i grew up in an immigrant family, and i guess you could say i "missed out" on some things. but i can't remember feeling uncomfortable at school or with my friends because i didn't do the same things... now that i'm older, my friends get a kick out of the fact that i've never seen the wizard of oz, or had a milkshake and i don't mind :P

[array]

But aren't you making a movie?

[anne]

I'd be curious to know more about Michelle's experience in Barneys! Even with all I know and all I truly believe, I still can't control that rush of adrenaline that I get when I walk into a department store. (So I go as seldom as possible!) How did she feel? How is it that she couldn't find anything she liked, when everything surely looked so alluring?

[Mother Earth]

maybe it was the movie you picked ??

I agree with the social churn of the theatre - i am horrified by the expense and the even further expense once inside - i balk at those around me who buy hoards of snacks and think to myself HOW does an average family even afford this kindof entertainment? We go live to the actual theatre only a few times a year - i admit that batman will always pull me in ( my son's alter ego ) and this holiday the golden compass, my daughters favorite book ever ...just to see the rendition.

I use to rent from the video store thinking netflix cut out the human element - truth be told I adore netflix - this weekend we snuggled in with fruit and cheese and the film artic tale - that was up my alley big time

Additionally I adore film - the creation, the art and the small bit of time it takes me somewhere else - but I do that once a week - or so, not daily.

It's still special here.

love the comment --- but aren't you making a movie? classic!!!

Mother Earth aka Karen Hanrahan
www.bestwellnessconsultant.com

[Rhett (Greentime)]

Colin, I love this blog so much and you keep me so motivated in my own impact reduction project, but I often wonder why everything with you seems to boil down to either spiritual separation or fear of being unloved. I'm sorry, but I think it's just too simple an answer. I also think that you, as a white heterosexual male with a relatively normal family don't really have as much appreciation for what it means to have to actively seek out people like you and maintain a status among them.

Yes, there's a fair amount of therapeutic consumerism going around. I think, however, that much of it is about the enjoyment of having something new and the feeling of having enough economic agency to acquire a new good or service. There's also a pretty important matter of one's social group-- you love your friends, so you do what they do, even if it's going to a movie. I, personally, won't go to movies just to be with friends because I hate movies that much.

But you talk about going to the places your friends go so that you can fit in. You should consider the experiences of those of us who, due to ethnicity, religion, or (in my case) sexual orientation are not afforded the luxury of being "culturally default" as you and your family are. To hang around with most normal people, I have to put on a facade. I know, because I do it all the time. In order to get a living room full of people who will accept me without me putting on a performance, I have to expend resources to find these people first, and then we all, as a group, have to find activities in which we can share. Yes, this often means purchasing a modicum of "stuff".

Personally, though, I'm just trying the opposite effect-- I have my partner, and she and I have a nice life, so I'm giving up on having friends beyond a certain bare minimum. More time alone means more time to work on my dissertation, more time to get my video projects to the next stage, a chance to work on the garden, ride my bike longer distances, or finally build the greywater recycling system.

Hm...all those things end up requiring "stuff", too, though...

[Magpie]

Maybe part of the problem is that you saw the wrong movie! I have not yet seen Margo at the Wedding, but from what I have read, it has a similar sensibility to Baumbach's previous films. While I have enjoyed his work, Baumbach's films are not movies that make you feel close to those around you.

To remind yourself why seeing films in the theater can be a wonderful thing, seek out Once. It might still be around. It is beautiful and moving, and deserves to be seen in a theater with a great sound system.

[Alfredo]

Maybe someone has made a similar comment...but it seems that the conclusions you've come to during your year long experiment mirror those of Buddhist philosophical (not necessarily religious) teachings...ending suffering/attachment/desire for material things, thoughtfulness, compassion, etc.

[emily]

yes, yes, yes. it's all about filling up space, isn't it. and some of that space is physical, but some is not.

looking forward to hearing more about re-entry.

[Tina]

I was so happy reading this post. I have more than one year to go to the movies, and I really feel that I haven't missed anything. Although an environmentalist and dedicated "green" my motive was different. i just fed up with the celebrities style, the star system, and the huge amounts that are spending in the movies industry. I must admit that I have seen a few movies on the DVD, though, but definitely I prefer spending my time with my friends or reading

[Katy]

Reading is an isolating activity too... are you going to stop reading?

I understand the importance of community, but I think you maybe throwing out the baby with the bath water on this one.

[stephanie]

Reading is a totally different type of solitary experience, though. How often do you go to movies and chat about the experience after? Like, deeply talk about Life? That just might be the sign of a good movie or book -- how much it widens your perspective on the world, changes your views, gives you things to think and talk about. (I mean, things more important than Brangelina gossip.)

The fact is, most mainstream movies are empty and formulaic and contain thousands of hidden messages to sell us stuff. Why would I want to pay money and waste 2 hours of my time to get pummeled by violence, sex, racism, sexism, materialism and social stereotypes, hidden (and not-so-hidden) advertising, told in the usual way with the focus-grouped ending and empty dialogue? Ninety-nine percent of the movies that are distributed by Hollywood vehicles are manipulative garbage.

Books are not. Some are, but many, many are not. The distribution machine of reading material is still costly, but not as costly as producing and distributing a movie. As money and costs go up, risky messages and thought-provoking material goes down. Therefore, a lot more Quality seeps through the cracks of the print world.

[Lab Rat]

I spend most of my time with all the other animals at the "lab". Humans think too much, instead of just "being".

[Annabel]

I agree with you say usually, but I have to disagree on the movies front! Film is a wonderful medium for telling stories, examining the human condition, starting debate, and all sorts of other worthwhile things. And it doesn't come with adverts all the way through it. Sometimes you catch a dud one, but as long as you don't pick hollywood blockbusters, even dud's will usually teach you something. Imagine a world without An Inconvenient truth for a start! How many more people have seen the full evidence for global warming as a result of that movie? And it doesn't even have to be documentaries, there are so many fictional stories from across the world that can teach us about life in those countries, so you don't just see what Fox news thinks you need to see.

[Katy]

To Stephanie: I agree. Most movies are big studio productions that have no redeeming value. You can say the same thing about a lot the books on the best seller list though.

I guess I'm just rejecting the notion that going to the movies, in and of itself, has no value to our community. I disagree. I'm picky with the movies I go to. I see maybe two a year in the theater. Yes, I can say that the ones I have seen have sparked great discussions between my friends and I and have widened the way I think about the world.

[jewishfarmer]

We just let my 7 and 6 year olds watch the first (fourth, but I'm the wrong age to call it that) Star Wars movie. My neighbor's children saw the whole series by the time they were 3 and 5 - they are wonderful neighbors, but they believe in full, deep media exposure and don't worry much about violence. We do - and while we have a tv, we only use videos and only occasionally. Star Wars was a big thing - it was part of my son's sixth birthday present, because it mattered so much to hime that he be able to participate with his friends in playing with their action figures. That was the one thing he most wanted - and it seemed pretty reasonable to us, even though we might have preferred to wait one more year.

So yes, as Greenpa says, there is value in having cultural common ground. It isn't that movies are without merit. On the other hand, every time you go see one, you are sending the enormously energy and carbon intensive hollywood model a "go for it, make more of these" message as well - that is, if studios can expect to get their money back because people want the common ground of having seen the same movies, they'll keep making them, keep flying sand by the tons to make locations look perfect, keep flying their stars around in private jets.

It does strike me that like everything else, it isn't a matter of not having movies, or common cultural experiences, but of having different kinds of movies - lower budgets, less energy intensive, maybe fewer and better.

Sharon

[Stretch Mark Mama]

"...living rooms full of people instead of closets full of stuff"

Enjoyed that line, thanks.

But if these people start to annoy me, can I stuff THEM in the closet?

Just kidding, just kidding.

[grace]

From which store do you get the living room full of people? Pottery Barn? I'll put them at the top of my christmas list:)