Sometimes it's hard

This afternoon I got an email from Michelle: "What should we do about dinner tonight? I think we might be out of food."

She was right, we were. Yesterday I forgot to go to the farmers' market, and today it was a choice between picking up food at our CSA (community supported agriculture group) or taking poor little Frankie the dog out to pee. I opted to let Frankie pee.

The comeuppance was that we had to choose between going hungry and breaking the local food only rule. There is one restaurant in New York that we go to which makes a very sincere effort to buy local, organic food, but honestly, I couldn't bring myself to go there.

So we broke the local food rule. We went to a nice restaurant in the West Village.

I'm sure it has to do with my own addiction to perfection, but I felt like a loser and a hypocrite. It's silly, because I don't think it serves anyone to think that I breeze through this project, like I can follow all the rules without a problem. Painting a picture of total ease sets other people up to feel like failures if they find their own versions of environmental living difficult.

And besides, whether it serves people to know it or not, the fact is, though the project has delivered us plenty of gifts, some days, like today, I find  it hard.